Love, is it worth the risk?

Love, is it worth the risk?

 

Love to me has always been someone knowing just the right words to say, its this highly emotional thing, sometimes it might look like you putting the other person first in life for a moment, maybe it means you spend every Saturday together or you text that person all the time. But eventually the messy things come out of the closet, they see the real you, in my experience that normally means bags are packed. It seems to be a lot easier to just pack up and leave then it is to stay and fight for the love you have claimed. So is it worth it? Is it worth putting yourself out there, being open and vulnerable for the potential of loving and being loved?

 

Recently I have been learning a lot about love, the good parts and the hard parts of what love really means. Let me share a few stories with you.

 

About a year a go I meet this awesome guy, we started hanging out and eventually started talking about entering into a relationship. I thought “ this must be it”, he had all the right words just when I needed them, and he made me feel beautiful. It seemed to be perfect, except that I never really felt loved; It was easy to feel loved when he was around but that feeling was only temporary. I wondered when things would start going wrong, when would he finally see that I am not perfect? I’m not a fairytale princess, I knew eventually something would go wrong, but the question was… would we make it though it? Would he still choose me?

Eventually one day it happened, I was frustrated, I had enough of feeling like I would never be a priority in his life, that I would never be enough for him. I wanted him to fight for me so badly, but it never happened. We ended things, it was rough, and I was back to square one with this. I still care for this person very much and pray the best in his life, I guess in the end we both had things we needed to work though. After thinking I might have found love but then it did not work out, it brought me to a place of thinking, “ Is it possible I am just to messy for this, whenever I finally get to the point of being able to share about my past with a person and they finally see my messiness not long after they tend to leave.” I’ve seen it a lot in my life from the relationships in my family, to friends, to past boyfriends, there seems to be this pattern of when it gets hard you just leave. It made me think, will life always be this way? Then something happened that taught me so much about love.

 

 

Her name was Emma; she was a baby that had been abandoned. Her story does not end there; she was brought into the home of a good friend of mine, a wonderful and beautiful 19 year old missionary Addisyn. Emma was sick when Addisyn picked her up; she ended up having brain surgery and multiple trips to the hospital. Addisyn went to court to fight for Emma; she did whatever it took to care for this little girl. She loved this girl so well. 31 days after being born baby Emma passed away in her sleep, she went to sleep in Addisyn’s arms and woke up in the arms of Jesus (as described my her mom Amy). I only meet Emma once; she was very small but had such a peaceful spirit. Whenever I talked with Addisyn, she could not help but talk about Emma, she was filled with so much love for this child that was not even hers, she did everything so Emma could experience the most out of life and know that thought it all she was loved. Last week I attended Emma’s funeral, that was one of the hardest moments I have experienced since being here in Guatemala, but seeing how many people came to show their love for Emma was amazing. The Lord really showed me a lot through Emma’s story; Addisyn could have chosen to give up at any moment. Emma’s situation was difficult, it was going to take time, intentionality, and self-sacrifice it was going to take a lot of love. Giving up was not an option though, Addisyn knew that Emma was important and therefor she was going to Love her, fight for her, and do whatever it took for Emma. Thank you Addisyn and Emma for teaching me so much about what Love looks like.

 

Have you ever tried to love someone who is not perfect? It’s hard but that’s what the Lord does for us every day. Wow! I have been reading through 1 Corinthians 13 seeking to understand Love, the thing is love is not selfish. When Love becomes a selfish thing, its not Love at all, when Love is all about me, its not actually Love. I think love is caring for someone so much that you would literally do anything for that person, nothing is an inconvenience, love is not just a word you speak, its an action you take. When you truly love someone you will fight for them, you will do everything you can to continue to show them just how much you truly love them. Love is seeing the messy part of a person and knowing the mess does not define them, it’s seeing them for who they really are and continuing to remind them of that. Its simple… Love does. It’s also complicated… Love does.

 

So to answer the question… is Love worth the risk? Yes it is, whether it’s loving my family, friends, a man, the children I work with, or the person I meet on the street. As I have received the Love of the Father I am then able to give that love out, its crazy to see how the Lord can use a simple act of love to radically change someones life forever. Is it always easy to Love? No, but rarely are the easy things of much value. In my life it’s a daily choice to choose to love, no matter what my situation may be, I choose to be a woman of love through all things. I know there will be times that my heart is broken and I know I won’t be perfect at this but to Love people is my passions so I will go at it with everything I have.

 

 

Please continue to pray for Addisyn and their family as they continue to deal with the loss of Emma

 

 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (AMP)