Fasting… Well that was new.

 

Earlier this month I felt a call to fast, to fast until I got an answer. I was hoping for this one answer, a yes, it would have been beautiful. I fasted and prayed but did not get the response I was looking for. In the past this would have stung a lot, I would have probably thought that fasting did not work and would be hesitant to try it again. But this was different. I have only fasted twice in my life, as a teenage we did this thing called the thirty hour famine through World Vision, where you fast for 30 hours to understand what children in third world countries went through every day, to be honest, my heart posture was never really that great in those times, I was miserable the whole time, all I could think about was how hungry I was. This time I ended up fasting for a week and had a lot of joy through the process, my heart posture was different. There’s a huge difference when you choose to fight God and when you choose to press in. 

 

So the Lord called me to fast. At first I thought “there is no way, I’m to skinny already” but then I felt the Lord tell me that you get out of your time what you put in it. If I wanted to see good things happen, then I needed to press in, to go to the deep places with my Daddy. That’s always been a hard one for me. I don’t always understand how to have “intimacy” with the Lord, I mean for real, where’s the guidebook? You know 22 simple steps to have intimacy with the Lord. But then there was a shift in my spirit… all I wanted was Him… all I wanted was just to spend time with my Daddy. I put all my situations aside, my hunger, relationships, hurts and pains… everything, I just wanted to go to that special place with my Lord, even though I had no idea what that looked like.

 

My week started really messy, lots of tears, running mascara, down on my knees sobbing, feeling ever so hopeless. I can honestly say I felt my Father come and calm my heart, suddenly it felt like it was all going to be ok some how. Throughout the week I went from hopeless in my situation to very hopeful that no matter what happened, it was going to be ok. Now even though things did not turn out as I had hoped… I really do see the Lord in it, I see how He protected my heart, I see how He did not let this situation affect my worth, and I see how He used something that could be been seen as so horrible to bring me closer to Him. I am seeing the more I am aligned with the Lord, the better off I am, regardless of the situations around me, I get to stand firm and know that I am totally and completely taken care of. How                                     cool is that?

 

  This month has been a beautiful reminder of how much the Lord cares for me. He is constantly shaping our character and we get to say yes or no to the process. As hard as it can be, I am thankful for the yes. I am thankful to His constant unchanging yes to me and that I get to take His hand and say yes to how he is shaping my character. Character shaping often has some painful moments and cross roads or decision making, the great thing is, I don’t walk this alone. My Father walks this with me and has placed me in such a beautiful community to walk this thing out with some amazing people.

 

Maybe there are areas in your life that seem hopeless, or maybe you have been running and trying to do things on your own. Whatever your situation, it’s a great time to get on your knees and just spend some good time with your Father… Its very refreshing, for real! Above all else though, I hope and pray that you know today that you are so extremely loved!